As promised, here is a near complete list of things wrong with my car, in the order they come to my mind.
1) Brake light is always on.
2) The button which makes the rear defroster go on is long gone. So, it's an L.E.D. by itself.
3) The car locks automatically when you close the door, usually. It's a matter of time before the keys get locked in there.
4) I had to remove all the interior light bulbs since they always stay on even after the doors have been closed. One remains, the green light ring around the keyhole. To shit that one off, I need to bump the right rear door after I shut the driver's door.
5) There is a leak in the exhaust manifold which brings the fumes right into the cabin if the car stays put.
6) The rear shocks are caput. In the winter I think they fill with water and freeze and thus become especially bad. I sometimes get car sick hitting frost heaves, which is new for me: I've never gotten car sick while driving myself.
7) The radio goes out once in a while. Acceleration in either direction often is enough to get it going again.
8) There is no display on the radio anymore, it has long since faded.
9) There is a crack in the engine block, making it virtually impossible to pass inspection without slipping someone some bills. Additionally, it makes my car terrible on gas mileage.
10) There is a huge dent on the right of the hood.
11) Sometimes when you try to unlock it manually, it resists and snaps back to a locked position. I don't know how to make it not do this.
12) The right back window does not go down.
13) The heat only sort of works.
And now, the good list:
1) It has new tires and windshield wipers.
2) It starts surprisingly easily in winter.